A Subtle Distinction

"I say--come and dance. This is a toppin' fox-trot they're playin'."

"Thanks--but I'm only waltzing this evening. We're still in mourning,

you know."

* * *

_Specialist_ (_to patient suffering from insomnia_): "And did you try

my plan of counting sheep coming through a gate?"

_Patient:_ "Well, I counted up to a hundred and tw
nty thousand and

thirty-nine, and then it was time to get up."

* * *

_Neighbor_ (_bearer of message, to billiard enthusiast_): "You're wanted

at 'ome, Charlie. Yer wife's just presented yer with another rebate off

yer income-tax."

* * *

_Joan_ (_whose mother has just bought her a pair of woolen gloves_):

"Oh, Mummy, I wish you had got kid. I hate this kind; they make my

sweets so hairy."

* * *

_Lady_ (_to applicant for situation as cook_): "Have you been accustomed

to have a kitchen-maid under you?"

_Cook:_ "In these days we never speak of having people 'under us.' But I

have had colleagues."

* * *

_Father:_ "Look here, Billy, Mr. Smith called at the office this morning

about your fight with his boy yesterday."

_Son:_ "Did he? I hope you got on as well as I did."

* * *

_Artist_ (_condescendingly_): "I did this last summer. It really isn't

much good."

_Candid Friend:_ "No, it certainly isn't. But who told you?"

* * *