CHILDREN

Two weary parents once advertised:



"WANTED, AT ONCE--Two fluent and well-learned persons, male or female,

to answer the questions of a little girl of three and a boy of four;

each to take four hours per day and rest the parents of said children."





Another couple advertised:



"WANTED: A governess who is good stenographer, to take down the clever

sayings of our child.





A boy twelve years old with an air of melancholy resignation, went to

his teacher and handed in the following note from his mother before

taking his seat:



"Dear Sir: Please excuse James for not being present

yesterday.



"He played truant, but you needn't whip him for it, as the boy

he played truant with and him fell out, and he licked James;

and a man they threw stones at caught him and licked him; and

the driver of a cart they hung onto licked him; and the owner

of a cat they chased licked him. Then I licked him when he

came home, after which his father licked him; and I had to

give him another for being impudent to me for telling his

father. So you need not lick him until next time.



"He thinks he will attend regular in future."





MRS. POST--"But why adopt a baby when you have three children of your

own under five years old?"



MRS. PARKER--"My own are being brought up properly. The adopted one is

to enjoy."





The neighbors of a certain woman in a New England town maintain that

this lady entertains some very peculiar notions touching the training of

children. Local opinion ascribes these oddities on her part to the fact

that she attended normal school for one year just before her marriage.



Said one neighbor: "She does a lot of funny things. What do you suppose

I heard her say to that boy of hers this afternoon?"



"I dunno. What was it?"



"Well, you know her husband cut his finger badly yesterday with a

hay-cutter; and this afternoon as I was goin' by the house I heard her

say:



"'Now, William, you must be a very good boy, for your father has injured

his hand, and if you are naughty he won't be able to whip you.'"--_Edwin

Tarrisse_.





Childhood has no forebodings; but then, it is soothed by no memories of

outlived sorrow.--_George Eliot_.





Better to be driven out from among men than to be disliked of

children.--_R.H. Dana_.





_See also_ Boys; Families.